Monday, May 5, 2008

unfulfilled cheese longing

sometimes i say things that clearly separate me from other human beings in terms of weirdness.

today i went to giant to get some groceries and hoped, once again, that they would stock the various kinds of cheeses that i love. now, i have said in the past that giant has recently opened up their selection to a multitude of cheeses, and i admire that, but they nonetheless still do not carry buffalo mozzarella.

i know what you're thinking, because clearly the two people in giant whom i asked about this had the same reaction.

first i asked a girl at the deli counter, since the cheese kiosk is somewhat nearby. i didn't bother to ask specifically for buffalo mozzarella; i just asked if i could order something to the store that wasn't normally stocked. this seemed to be too much for her and all she could manage was to smile at me wanly and tell me that the deli manager would be back tomorrow.

i thanked her and moved on to the checkout line. i knew that i shouldn't have asked the woman who rang up my groceries, but through some perversity of human nature in which all i could contemplate was the sheer deliciousness of buffalo mozzarella, i brought up my question again to the cashier. she had basically the same response, but then she asked "well, what is it you want?"

i paused. "buffalo mozzarella."

as her stare deepened, her mouth dropped open slightly in some seeming combination of confusion and disbelief. i tried to explain, "original mozzarella is made from buffalo milk, but since everything is homogenized now, you always find it made with cow's milk."

she continued to stare at me. "you get it from a buffalo?"

"yes," i confirmed, and added helpfully "costco sells it so i didn't think it was too obscure."

apparently an unhelpful addendum, her continued perplexed staring made me too embarrassed to look at my neighbors in line for guidance. they probably thought i was crazy too. surely someone must know of buffalo mozzarella!

striking a novel thought, i offered "if you go to italy, that's how they'll make it. with a buffalo."

this proved equally counterproductive. as i got into my car and pulled out of the giant parking lot, all i could think of was the sweet, salty flavor of melted buffalo mozzarella on homemade pizza, and my heart ached.


Andy White said...

I really enjoyed this post--you told the story hilariously and beautifully.

I read buffalo mozzarella like buffalo as in spicy hot buffalo chicken wings...

I used to work in a deli, and if you came up and asked me about buffalo mozzarella, I would have told you "No, but we do have buffalo chicken...I could go ask the manager--he's in the back."

Agatha Wells said...

hahhaa thanks...i try to tell a good story. unfortunately, buffalo chicken comes from the buffalo spice sauce which is named after buffalo, ny. buffalo mozzarella comes from a buffalo.

Rachael said...

OMG buffalo mozzerella with beef steak tomatoes... throw in a little prosciutto and arugula for good measure. But they don't have fun cattle-related names.

Emily said...

As obscure as buffalo mozzarella is in our current society, it's really just as "weird" as mozzarella from a cow--I mean it's not like you asked for mermaid mozzarella or hamster mozzarella. The animals are pretty similar.

Agatha Wells said...

hampster mozzarella...

it's not just for the classroom!