ew germs

i am sick of this illness that has taken me. i don't know if it's a cold, or the flu, or what, but it needs to start telling its story walkin'.

but i am too cheap to pay for another visit to the doctor and for an antibiotic...i'm going to finish this thing off the old-fashioned way: whiskey.

esurient

esurient.

no, i cannot tell you what it means, because i refuse to flip the flash card over and look. and yet, i'm supposed to have that word memorized as part of my gre studying efforts. still the first few official days of my vacation have been going pretty well--i cleaned the house, changed the cat litter (always an activity i put off until the bitter end), had the refrigerator fixed (again...long story), and now am going to buy stamps to mail some letters to friends. and then more studying for the gre.

i tried on my bridesmaid dress again last night, as kristen is visiting and she wanted to see me in it. i was pleased that it fit me better than before; i seem to be slightly curvier than i was in march when i first tried it. unfortunately, larger boobs also means more arm fat, so my goal is to lift weights until the ratio of arm-to-boob fat is where i want it to be.

now back to studying!

the road less (or more?) taken

do you ever get the feeling that you're standing at a crossroad with many paths radiating away from you? and sometimes each way is distinct and descrete from the others, and other times each seems to meld into others until they become confusingly indistinguishable.

what program should i apply to in graduate school? english phd? masters in education? or stay in admissions and continue the extensive growth i've seen in myself this past year? i feel caught between choices, and am wondering if one of them isn't really a choice that covers all paths...

blech. i need vacation.

a bit of blogging philosophy

what is the worth of blogs? i mainly created this as a way for friends to keep up with my...relatively?...diverting life, but it occurs to me (ok, not for the first time) that most of what is written here is interesting to no one save myself. so is that the case for most blogs, or are my personal accounts just not that exciting? are blogs really about getting your thoughts out there for friends and the world at large to respond to, or more about the pleasure of seeing your thoughts in (digital) print? blogging is odd when you consider it in that form, then–egotistical and yet not guaranteed to reach an actual audience.

and yet, does the author always want an audience? of course they must–or else, why create the archive? sorry. i still remember reading derrida for english critical methods class.

on an even more random note, i also keep coming back to the dream i had so many years ago. it's not that i keep having that dream necessarily; but the intense happiness, the freedom of driving my own destiny–the images always seem to be at the fringes of consciousness, sneaking back in when my thoughts start to wander.